July 10, 2009

bike route

Riding 30+ miles the day before a century ride might not be the wisest thing to do, but I did it anyway. It was just so pretty out today. Definitely warm, even at times too warm, but the air was oddly cleaner (or seemed to be) than on other days this week. Perhaps it was the very friendly breeze blowing through the valley and over my shoulders that fooled me. Or perhaps it was the powder blue skies and tissue-thin clouds (not a puffy one up there today).


No matter, the ride was wonderful and (go figure) on a day where I had no witnesses to see it, I kicked Trash Truck Hill's ass. Yup, I went up it with ease and in my middle ring. I just had legs today, and I pray they stay with me through tomorrow's ride as well.



At Mt. Hollywood, I turned and began the climb up that canyon, but within 200 feet of it, my pal, the breeze, evaporated. Then it was hot, and I was not willing to take on the canyon in heat knowing the miles I've got to pedal tomorrow. I turned around and reluctantly headed back down. From there, I descended down past the golf course and out almost to Los Feliz Blvd. I flipped a U-e and stopped by the pony rides to buy a drink (half diet Pepsi and half Orange Bang). It was here that I pet two of the saddest horses I've seen in awhile.



Poor things. Neither wanted anything to do with me, but I cooed and risked a finger to pet them anyway. Someone needs to show them kindness as it's obvious they get so little of that on a daily basis. If the world were according to me, no pony/horse buggy ride sh*t would exist. I'm not a believer in a child's right to pony rides. Buy your children bicycles, folks - far better for them and for the ponies!

After calling home and talking to both Mom and Dad, I finally pulled back out on Zoo Drive and followed it to the bike path. It was very quiet out there and the only riders I saw were one helmet-less older guy and two chicks in tank tops. I stopped again on Victory to buy a cold water. Did I mention that it was warm?


I realized that my time was slipping away, but I really wanted to sneak by the cricket shop and pet the two female beardies that I wish I could adopt. I try to stop there and pet them every chance I get. I wish I could bring them home, but no way. I just don't have the room for them. Besides, Boo, spoiled rotten little Boo, wouldn't have it. I've created a diva-dragon, for sure, one who just looks at me lazily anymore when I put her out for a "walk about." These days she just wants a "lay around."

From Scales 'N' Tails, it was smooth sailing all the way back home. Other than my climb up Trash Truck Hill and Camp Griffith Park, my route was flat and I don't think I blew my chances of a good ride tomorrow. I hope not anyway. I'm heading to bed here in a couple of minutes. I'm tired and this has been a frustrating week. Job hunt sucked, I suffered writer's block and have just been a little out of sorts. I did get this, though:



It takes so little to make me happy these days and I squealed when I saw this. I wore it today on my ride and plan to wear it on all my rides. Yes, I know...girlie and kind of Fred-ish. Is there any surprise in that? Didn't think so.

July 8, 2009

on the hills above the city

No mountain biking for me tonight, no dirt trail, no strenuous hill to spin out on. That meant both cursing and elated squeals were kept to a minimum, but that does not mean that I didn't ride nor does it mean I didn't enjoy it. Oddly enough, I think I may have gotten a better or, at least, equal workout. Hard to tell, and since I couldn't mountain bike due to bike brake issues, it really doesn't matter.



The ride I was on included me and two other riders, Herb and Jason. Now, mind you, Herb is faster than me even though he'll sandbag and pretend he's not. Tonight, however, I think he truly was having the kind of evening I've had too many times to count, one where you're happy to be on a bike but not happy to have to ride. Make sense? Basically, he was just really tired. I've been there myself and understand that feeling, so I kept my teasing to a minimum (mostly). I was a little mellow, too, but on parts of the ride, I performed beyond my usual. One of those times was when climbing up Trash Truck Hill (I hate that f'n hill!). I damn near lost a lung due to the smog-sh*t air we got out here at present but through hacking and snot-rocketing, I finally made it up it, and in pretty good time, actually.



As we headed up Mt. Hollywood, I spun up more than I pushed. I was too busy enjoying the beautiful, yet hazy skies around us. The air was cooler than I expected and I sweated less too. But that gawddim smog. Ugh...I need to move to Montana or wear a gas mask when riding, one of the two. I just kept clearing my throat (and nostrils) and focused on the climb.





At one point, Herb told me there was a snake in the road and, of course, I had to go back to photograph it. It had found a rather large mouse for dinner. I felt so badly for the mouse, but, hey, snake's got to eat. I don't think it was a rattler, but it did make an odd noise at me (hiss, maybe?) the closer to it I got (which was not more than five feet away!). It's rare that we see a snake up there and even in killer mode, it was a pretty one.



After that it was just climb to the top (I hate that last steep section), descend and then...descend again down Ferndale only to turn around and climb again...bonus hill! Herb opted out (can't blame him), and Jason dropped me like a badly microwaved potato (always does), but I dug it.



My legs began fatiguing here but not my spirit or enjoyment of the ride...and talk about endorphins!! By the time I'd crested Observatory hill and found the men in the crowd of folks out tonight (what was going on?), I was feeling the endorphin rush. This just inspired me, so I rode over to the ledge by the observatory to take a pic of the shadowy hills in the distance.






We then headed back on our usual route, past the Greek Theatre and up into the Los Feliz neighborhoods, again quiet this week. Stupid 14% grade hill (Parva?) wasn't so bad tonight. I was slow, though, so luckily the guys waited. We took the park route back and skipped the bike path (missed those annoying gnats!) and here is where I tried (unsuccessfully) to stay on Jason's wheel. Jason is freakishly fast and without effort, it seems. I hung for awhile but finally just let him go. The sprint was worth it even if I'm knackered now. I guess you could say I kinda pushed it tonight. Our final stretch home was uneventful but enjoyable, and I'm so glad I joined those two men for our usual (but always a little different) night ride.



Now...I think putting my head to a pillow is a wise idea. I love my night rides! I never sleep better than when after pedaling out all of my frustrations and leaving them on the hills above the city.

Wacky Wednesdy...revisited

I've already had a Wacky Wednesday this year, but it looks as if I'm going to have more. Today can only be described as such, that or it's my mood, sadly soured. Why so grumpy? I'm not sure, truthfully. Job hunting is going exactly as I'd expect, and I've heard similar tales of unemployment woe from others in the same boat as I'm in. So, it's not as if I woke up this morning and thought, 'the economy sucks, who knew?" Nor am I in any worse shape than I was when this started. Still haven't touched hardly any of my severance (okay, $300 of it!) and am living off the EDD I'm receiving. But I will concede that I'm getting restless as my mind keeps drifting...to other places and a different life. I'm just fed up with LA at present (likely the heat pressing down over the city like someone's fat armpit that's getting to me) and all of the LA idiots I somehow keep encountering.

I haven't been commuting as much by bike lately, which is a pity. It's the whole smoggy air thing and aggressive sun lately that dissuades me from doing so. That, and I value my life. Is it me, or do drivers just naturally get nastier and less focused on the task of actually maneuvering a 2,000 pound automobile during the summer months? On my last few commute/errand type rides, I've had very close calls with motorists, and I can't say this hasn't spooked me (even more so than I've been spooked of late!). I even had a close call today while in my car - only it wasn't a collision I feared but more a violent altercation, and one where I'd be the aggressor.

Some idiot decided to just park in the driveway of the store I was at and leaving, thus blocking my exit as cars kept pulling in on the left so that I could not go around. I honked (softly at first), and the driver stuck his arm out the window and shrugged (as if saying, "what? I'm parked") I honked again, held the horn down, lost my cool and rolled down my window.

"You are not allowed to park where you are parked - it is not a parking place! Please move so I can get out." Again, a shrug and something mumbled I could not hear.

I decided to reword my request - "Move your f*cking car! NOW!" I yelled this with the enthusiasm one would use at a Lakers' game.

Guess what? He moved. I'm sure he could see the look in my eyes through my dirty windshield. I'm not exactly the most put together person right now being that I don't have to get dressed for work, so the image he saw was that of a mad woman with wild hair. I honestly think I scared the man into moving his car. Go figure.

Had I been on my bike, of course, I'd have avoided that altogether, but Nellie's brakes must be changed. The back brake pads are worn so far down, it's a wonder I was able to slow the bike this past Sunday on my descent off the Glendale Motorway dirt trail. I probably should have driven Nellie to my bike shop yesterday, but given the traffic for the Michael Jackson memorial business, I avoided the 101 and 134 freeways like the plague. When I called the shop this morning, I found out that they are backed up with bike repairs already this week (due to the 4th of July holiday) and can't get to Nellie until tomorrow. Sigh. There goes my mountain bike ride tonight - one I was looking forward to! Luckily, Herb (and the fast boys) do want to ride GP this evening. I'll hop on Patsy and enjoy, but really, I had my heart set on that dirt climb up to the towers to 'drug' me back into a good mood (endorphins!).

On another topic (also affecting my mood), I really wish folks on Twitter would STFU with respect to the tour. I know everyone wants to talk about it as it happens, but since everyone is talking about it, I almost have to avoid Twitter altogether to not hear a spoiler. And I'm definitely not the only one complaining. I've had three different Tweet friends personally thank me (privately) for keeping my mouth shut about the Stage results. Others (guilty parties) have defensively suggested that we (those of us who don't want to see/hear spoilers) had better not be following Lance Armstrong or the TDF Twitter accounts. No sh*t, Sherlock! However, when I follow mostly cyclists and over half of them are leaking TDF results prematurely, it becomes an issue of me not following anyone if I don't wish to hear a spoiler. Um, hello? Twitter is a social network, not a sports broadcast station, and last I checked, if you want me to keep following you, shut up! There, I said it - not so politely, but I think it's fair to request.

And speaking of the tour, I just can't get over this one:


Why? Really. I like Ben Stiller and all, but will someone please explain to me the exact connection, cause I've seen video of him where he really doesn't look interested in the tour (results and all), like this one:



His manager/PR person needs to remind him of the gazillion cameras around him. Ben should look a little more pumped up over being there and the actual race itself. And someone...please...cut the man's hair! Again, I really like Ben Stiller and think he's funnier than hell, but I just don't get it with him being at the tour, introducing Lance Armstrong, getting on Lance's TT bike...?? Is Lance Armstrong a fan of Ben Stiller?

Regardless, I am a Lance Armstrong fan, a huge one, always have been. Do I think he can be a jerk. Sure. I don't care for his videos on Livestrong where he attacks his critics. Personally, I wish he'd just ignore them. However, I am not appalled at the Nike commercial he made stating that he isn't riding for them (the critics). I think it (the ad) a powerful statement and really, folks, he is truly helping the cause for funding cancer treatment and continued research, and I believe his passion is as genuine as it gets. He is also one hell of a pro cyclist and athlete. Hate him if you want to waste the energy, but I'm rooting for him and for Astana, and I'm not doing it for any of you (my critics)...so there! Heh heh.

Lastly, on this here Wacky Wednesday, there is that whole Sarah Palin quitting the governor job thingy. Ha ha ha ha ha...oh, so perfect. I told a friend recently that I don't believe she's going to run for President in 2012, nor I do think she really liked being governor once the VP bid went 'poof!' She really can't take any public criticism (not sure she understands it or has any real self awareness to handle it). No, I'm thinking she's got some TV movie in the works, one about her life, and guess who is going to play her? Well, her, of course! And if that falls through, she would make a very good talk show host. Tyra did it so, really, anyone can. Palin could become the next 'good-looking' Rush Limbaugh if she wanted to (I do think the woman is pretty). I'm very serious - she has the fan base for it.

Oh, and if you want to laugh, here is her twitter account to follow: http://twitter.com/AKGovSarahPalin or you can follow this one: http://twitter.com/hockeymom64. I find the real twitter account funnier than the fake one, but it did take a minute for me to figure out which one was the real one. Then I saw the 'verified' on the first one and smacked myself on the forehead. Just another one of those moments in my wacky day, I guess.

July 7, 2009

embarrassing fiasco

If anyone reading this is a Michael Jackson (rabid) fan who went online to enter a lottery to win a ticket to drive to the Staples Center to pick up a bracelet to then attend the mass memorial services today for the recently deceased pop star - please exit blog now and enjoy the festivities...um...I mean services. For the rest of you who are like me - pissed off at the whole thing - you may (or may not) enjoy my rant.

I grew up listening to the man's music, and I've already stated on here how much I idolized him (at age 13), but as a grown adult who doesn't know him, never met him and, sorry, doesn't think he made outstanding contributions to society as a whole (some folks actually are not fans of his, can you believe it?), the use of taxpayer dollars to fund his memorial service (will get to that in a minute) and his creepy family's indulgence makes me sick. Media coverage thus far of the enormous memorial service planned for today with fans smiling broadly on camera and giving mini interviews as to how they got their tickets (do I really need to hear about what a loser you are for staying up 48 hours glued to your computer screen to try and secure a seat at a memorial for a pop star you never met?) is a disgusting display of how celebrity and our society's worship of it is still so very out of control.

People have lost their jobs (hello!!) and their homes, and our state is damn near bankrupt. California (with it's celebrity governor) has no budget to speak of and many beneficial public programs are on the chopping block (one I'm distressed over - public parks may be closed), yet the city has found a few million to fund this memorial service today. Yup, that's right. We citizens of LA will be covering these services through our tax dollars whether we are fans of Michael Jackson or not. And his freakazoid family will be enjoying the party the most. Are you a resident of this here LA LA Land? If so, here is some reading to get your blood boiling:

From EOnline!
From The Huffington Post
From Ohmygov.com
From LAtimes.com

My favorite above is the LA opinion piece on LATimes.com. The question of what rational universe would allow this is a good one. Even if tourists visiting the city buy a few million dollars worth of hot dogs and glow sticks while swaying to MJ tunes inside the Staples Center, it does not justify the use of tax dollars. As a tax payer (granted, not a huge one at present, but I've put my share in over the years), I would like those dollars allocated to something, anything, other than a mass memorial for a celebrity. Hell, spend my tax dollars on an elaborate birthday party for Governor "Terminator" for all I care, but not on this excessive (and sick) public display of celebrity worship.

It's creepy, folks, and really there is no way to argue out of that one. If you knew Michael Jackson in person, your need to mourn and go look at his white face in the casket one last time is understandable. But if you never met the man (like the gazillions who are standing in line to buy their nachos at the Staple Center as I type this), please don't even attempt to justify the spectacle...or, better yet, embarrassing fiasco.

Sadly, Michael Jackson lived as a tortured soul, someone so desperate to find an identity other than the one chosen for him, he literally erased the color of his race. For all his millions and amazing talent, I wouldn't have wished for his life but do wish him peace in death, something he will never be granted. After all, just look at that freak father of his and how happy he appears to be over the whole 'death of his son,' as if this is Michael Jackson's greatest hit. In interviews over the past week, he can hardly contain his joy. Well, he does stand to gain a tremendous amount by taking over his son's estate and children's futures. What absolute control he has finally gained over his son. Just like in life, MJ is expected to earn for the family...in death. I think his death was in a very sad way the biggest performance of his life with respect to the dollars it will bring Joe Jackson. Jackson Sr. must be very proud, indeed.

July 5, 2009

I didn't allow frustration to creep in

I didn't drink last night, but only cause I had to make up for my mistake of drinking a tad too much on Friday night, the same day I bailed on Baldy for heat issues. No doubt I was dehydrated somewhat following that ride and most definitely, I should not have over imbibed. Does common sense ever stop me? No. Yesterday, I had a nasty hangover all day and did not ride (gasp!). I had planned a killer mountain bike ride this morning with Herb and Eddie.



I just had to get back up the trail I mostly walked two weeks ago. I mistakenly called it Stough Canyon when the proper name of the trail is Verdugo Motorway. It's a series of fire roads up in the Verdugo mountains above Burbank and Glendale which connects to La Tuna Canyon. There is tons to explore up there, but it's a steep climb in the beginning to even get up to where the other trails connect. It isn't a technical trail, by any means, but it is a workout indeed. The road is eroded in places and there are ruts, loose gravel and sand. The first time I rode it, I was nervous to climb it and scared to descend it (although I did so on bike). Today, I had a much better experience.



When I got up at 5:00am, after falling asleep around midnight last night, I wasn't sure I could pull it together in time to make it to The Hub by 6:45am. Herb and I wanted to start early with Eddie joining a little later. Our hope was to beat today's heat. Due to my lethargic state, however, I did not arrive right on time and instead rolled in right at 7:00am. This put us on the trail (by the time we'd loaded the bikes and driven there) closer to 7:30am. It was already warm. I was already in a mood.



As we took off on the first section, which is the steepest out the gate, I got all of 50 feet again and unclipped. No way did I have it in me to power up it. My heart rate shot up way too fast. I (again) told Herb to just keep going and began walking my bike. The mood I was in was sour, certainly, but fortunately I was in no frame of mind to allow my ego or my inner quitter to get a word in. I shut my mind off and after walking about 20 feet, I got clipped in and with sheer force, turned the pedal over and clipped the other foot on the first try. From there, it was power up to the next point of intolerance and unclip again.



This went on three times today. Three times, my heart rate soared and I simply stopped to get it back down again. I would then find a rhythm and take off once more. I didn't think about it. I didn't allow thoughts like, "move it, you fat ass!" to enter my mind. I didn't allow frustration to creep in or poutiness to overcome me. I'd like to say I HTFU'd up that mountain today, but that wasn't it either. No. I got up there today cause I promised myself I would. Did I poorly plan on a holiday weekend? Of course, cause that's the kind of sh*t I pull. Herb was game and, given that I kept my grumpiness to a minimum this morning, very pleased that we both were doing as well as we were. It took about an hour of suffering for the drugs (endorphins) to hit my system. Those little happy chemicals are like crack for me, and that was when, suddenly, the gorgeous views of the city below caught my attention.



We rode up so high, all the way to a series of towers, that you could see all the way to the ocean, through Griffith Park and Mt. Hollywood, downtown LA and down the coast. It was socked in with fog along the horizon so my eyes never could decipher between where the fog line ended and the deep blue sea began, but I didn't care. I'd kept my promise to myself and I was rewarded for it.



Also along the trail are these interesting lawn chairs (or at least, that's what they look like). Someone had a sense of humor when putting those up there. They are made of some kind of plastic that doesn't need paint nor will it likely ever erode (not in my lifetime anyway). Herb and I sat in these a few times when we needed mini breaks, but for the most part, we just rode our asses off.





At the top, I insisted that Herb call Eddie (whom we hadn't seen hide or hair of) and I began yelling out over the mountain, "Eddie!!!" as loud as I could (scaring the many lizards and bunny rabbits who were out today, I'm sure). Eddie was nowhere to be seen, so Herb and I explored a little past the towers. As we headed back and down from where we'd been, I hollered out one more time, "Eddie!!!" with as much volume possible (which is a lot for me cause I got good lungs). From just a bit down the trail, we heard Eddie holler back, "Hi, Mary."


From that point, we just followed Eddie back up (bonus climbs!) to a really steep Tower and hung out on a ledge shooting the breeze with a rather attractive mountain biker who'd come out to play as well. The views up on that ledge were even more impressive than any we'd seen all morning and I began planning some crazy epic mountain bike ride up on AC with the boys. As we took off back down the mountain, we stopped at one spot to watch a stealth deer go running with ease down the side of the hill and were for a moment stalled by the vision we'd seen.





I definitely am digging the dirt scene, or at least fire roads anyway (I don't do single-tracks, remember?) The biggest advantage is that there are no cars. From there, it's the whole beauty aspect. I use to be crazy hiker, so mountain biking is like combining the two, best of both worlds, and certainly something I'm going to keep doing.



When we got to the bottom, Herb discovered that my brake pads are worn down. Oops...time to take Nellie in for a spa day at Budget Bicycle. She needs a little sprucing up and her chain is embarrassing. I'm going to take her over this week as I want to hit that trail again on Wednesday (maybe). We've got CAM #7 next Saturday, so that may be pushing it.

a moonpie, bubbles and fireworks

Normally, on the Fourth of July, I'm in Missouri at my mother's side of the family's reunion. We eat hot dogs, burgers, tri-tip, chips&dip, watermelon and all the other goodies typical to the Midwest/Southern July 4th celebrations. I hang out with my sister and mingle among my many aunts, uncles and cousins while Elvis Presley and Hank Williams (Sr. & Jr.) plays on the stereo.

Not this year. I decided to go home for my father's family's reunion back in June when Grammy turned 90. So, I didn't think it affordable to fly back for this weekend (although, I'm sure my sweet parents would have covered it). Instead, I hung out in this city and I can't say I minded all that much. Not that I don't miss (or love) my family, but there is always a little familial pressure on any visit home. Add highballs and fireworks to the mix and it can get downright interesting.



This year, no stress involved in the least. I just had to throw on some shorts, a t-shirt and a hoodie and head over to Culver City for the fireworks at the high school there. Linda and Debbie invited me along with the Lobsters and several others. Herb and Ellen couldn't make it, but The Lobsters did. Linda had put together a large picnic dinner that was outrageously delicious and varied, including an orzo and feta salad, garlic green beans, sesame tofu and fried chicken. I ate the hell out of an olive tampenade (I love olives) and got high as a kite from a monstrous, chocolate creation called the Moonpie from this shop on the west side.




It had a lethal (and I suspect, illegal) amount of sugar in it, and I could barely swallow a fourth of it, but somehow I managed. We drank fizzy water and sodas while layered in blankets (it was so cold out, go figure), lounging on lawn chairs and watching a spectacular fireworks show.



My favorite part of the evening was when the kids in the park busted out the bubbles. You know, the little toy stick that you blow bubbles through? There were huge clouds of bubbles (impossible to capture on film of course) blowing across the field. It reminded me of when I was a child.



The best joke of the evening was when Lisa said, "Mary, you are not that fat," after I mentioned that I was worried I'd get diabetes if I ate anymore sugar. Poor thing, she didn't mean quite like it sounded, but we all ribbed her anyway and I laughed my ass off. I love that kind of moment, sort of awkward. Some folks would get their feelings hurt, but not me. I am too that fat, but not for long and, seriously, if you heard both how she said it and then how she tried so hard to retract it, you'd have laughed your ass off too. I will say, it kept me from eating yet another handful of chocolate covered cherries!



The fireworks started a little late, but when they did, they were fantastic, not overly audacious but just impressive enough. They made peace signs and smiley faces in the clear black sky with multicolored flares that evoked squeals from the many children in the crowd. I squealed too as I snapped photos and took one video. (I've been trying for over an hour to post the damn thing, but blogger.com is not working - sorry, Dad, I'll have to send you the vid.)

July 3, 2009

puking is not an option

I've already written on here about my feelings regarding riding in hot weather. I f*cking hate it. I hate it so much, it makes me want to go out and punch random babies in strollers. High temps affect my riding abilities and my mood while others don't seem so bothered by it. I know riders who will go out in 100+ degree weather and climb all the hell over So Cal, later reporting on their heat filled adventures with the kind of gloating I find unsavory. They claim to flourish in soaring temps and look on me with pity as my face turns red and I wheeze while taking hits off my Albuterol (stupid asthma). Yeah, well...I think they are all bastards, quite honestly. Not that I'm bitter or anything.

Seriously, I am the fair-skinned, light eyed individual who simply can't take a lethal combo of sun and heat. And today, the day I planned to ride up glorious Mt. Baldy, turned into the kind of hot summer day I never ever ever ever ever want to ride in again. I'll haul my ass out of bed at 4:00am to ride (solo) if that's what it takes. But no more feeling as if my internal organs are sizzling, no more nausea, and simply no more suffering for the sake of...nothing.

Now, do note, I'm the one who planned and invited others for the ride today. It is my fault that I believed the stupid weathermen/women and weather online predictions (highs of 81 degrees on Baldy, my ass!). I take responsibility for how my day of riding panned out. I just think that needs to be said. As for the ride, here goes.




I drove to The Hub and carpooled with Herb to Encanto Park. I was running a tad late, meaning we got to the park at 7:20am. Roll time was 7:30. We were all ready to roll at 7:33 when one of the riders discovered he had a flat. By the time it was changed and we took off, it was closer to 7:50am. It was warm out but not hot, and I was so excited to get up Baldy (I haven't been up it for over a year!). I was also pleased with the group that had showed up - The Lobsters, Andy and a pal, Vic (uber endurance man and super fun to be around), Kurt (another very pleasant man, new to the group) and a whole bunch of Adobo riders including Francis (my favorite), Rosalie (my idol) and Pete (a sweetie). It was a large gathering and judging from the crowd, Herb, Lisa and I would be the caboose (not that there is anything wrong with that).



As we headed out on SGRT toward Hwy 39, I was flying. My legs felt great. I did have a slight headache this morning (I had a little wine last night, but with dinner and counted into my WW points), for which I took one Advil. Other than that, I was on top of the world. In the early morning, coolish air, I felt alive, invigorated and set to climb all 5,800 feet of the beautiful mountain that stood before me like a monument to mother nature in all her glory. I continued to feel this good all the way up Hwy 39, climbing at a speed I've not ridden in awhile (again!). I didn't even push that hard, but caught a rhythm. The weather was holding out at this point, and with a soft haze down over the hills and the lake below the highway, I was certain we'd beat the heat. Foolish girl I am; when will I learn?




As we neared East Fork, the haze began to fade, and the sun's presence grew stronger. The Adobos, including Francis, had easily dropped me (like a badly microwaved potato) on 39, but they had pulled off for a quick break. I might should have followed their example, but still high from my steady climbing thus far, I continued with Herb and Lisa in tow on up East Fork to the cafe there. It was when we stopped that I realized the heat had arrived. I quickly hit the girl's room, drank another 1/2 bottle of water (I was fully hydrated) and added some ice to one of my bottles. I then doused my head handkerchief and sports bra with a little ice water. I knew Little GMR, the steepest and toughest climb of the ride, was just around the corner. I was a little concerned since the sun seemed so much brighter than when we'd turned on East Fork, but I pushed those thoughts from my mind, clipped in, hollered at the Adobos that they'd catch us, and took off, again with Herb and Lisa as well as Vic and Kurt, who'd waited for us (such nice guys!)




As we began that 5 mile climb up Little GMR to GRR, I still felt strong. My legs were holding out. Still, I pulled the speed back and pedaled softer than before. The heat had fully arrived at this point, and it was well over 81 degrees. We rounded a couple of curves, and Kurt mentioned to me that I had one more gear left. I didn't believe him so I checked by tapping my right lever. Then, like a dumbass, I tapped my left (for what reason I just don't know) and knocked the chain up into the middle gear. Drats! I quickly knocked it back down, and my chain came off. I was so pissed (at my own stupidity) and stopped to fix it, urging the others to keep going. It was here, while fixing my chain, that I knew I had a problem. For one thing, my face and neck were really hot. And for another, my heart rate was alarmingly high. Gawddim it! I jumped back on Patsy and took off. I figured it would get cooler as we climbed so I hauled ass to catch first Herb, then Lisa, up the hill.



As I pulled up to Lisa (who does just great in heat and was climbing fine), a cloud covering moved to shade us a tad. There was a nice breeze. Oh, thank goodness, I thought to myself. I was foolish enough to believe this would stay with us, so I took it up a notch. As I climbed a bit ahead of Lisa, I again thought of the mountain ahead and how much I was hopeful for cooler temps once we passed the GMR/GRR intersection. Vic, who'd climbed ahead, had come back down to continue climbing up with us gals. As we rounded another steep curve, we came out from under the cloud coverage and, as if on cue, the breeze stopped, just stopped. I swear, it was as if two large invisible hands wrapped around my neck and squeezed, it was so hot. I could feel the heat rising from the pavement to my cheeks. Suddenly, and without warning, a wave of nausea hit, hard.

I pulled my bike to the side of the road. Herb, who'd caught up, asked me what was wrong ("is it your back?") and got snapped at (sorry, Herbie). I was now taking in deep breaths. I grabbed my water bottle, the one I had put ice in earlier, and took a large swig, realizing too late what a mistake that was - the water was hot! I sat for a second, pondering my situation. Here is where my ego got the better of me. At this very point, I should have said to myself, 'At GMR/GRR, you go back down Big GMR to the car.' Instead, I said aloud, "HTFU, M.E." Seriously, when will I learn?


As I finally struggled up the final section of that climb and came to the ledge where we always take a break, I admitted to myself that it was way too hot for my comfort level. Regardless of how everyone else was coping, for me, the rest of the ride would be misery. I kept shoving these thoughts out of my head, though. After all, this was Baldy, my favorite ride, and my God, it couldn't have been prettier up there than it was today! I could taste the ice cold coke I'd order at the lodge as I sat there in the insufferable heat. I envisioned myself pushing through and climbing to a cooler section of the mountain (yeah, as if that exists on days like today!).

The Adobos were over by the Big GMR gate taking another break. Those are smart riders, those guys. They know that mountain even better than I do (well, duh - Francis is the person who first paced me up it in late 2005!). I should have followed their example and taken a longer break, but the desire to get out of the now stifling heat (and to feel a breeze, any breeze) motivated me to shove a melted Luna Bar down my throat (I was not hungry and didn't want it, which should have been yet another clue that I was overheating) and get back on my bike to continue.






I kept a game face as I rode with Lisa through the first section, up and then downhill for a short stint. I engaged her conversation and really listened to her, trying to ignore the waves of nausea crashing over me. My head now throbbed and my throat tightened. As we began the real climb on GRR, the first bit of bile mixed with regurgitated Luna Bar arrived at the top of my throat. I pulled the speed way back and watched Lisa continue up the mountain without me. Vic and Kurt were just beside me. I smiled at them and watched them go too. Then it was Herb, good ol' true blue riding buddy of mine, and me. Herb will never leave me, just as I won't him. It's a pact certain cyclists make with one another without ever saying a word. Since we took on the CAM challenge, we have designated one another riding partner. You don't leave your riding partner, certainly not when he/she is hurting. So, Herb stayed and we began our snail's climb up Baldy.



As I continued on with the burn of swallowed bile lining my throat, I knew what my options were. I could climb slowly on up to the lodge (assuming I could make it), turn around and admit defeat or puke. Well, puking is not an option, ever, on a ride. Once you puke, your electrolytes will be shot to hell. Given that I now had only one bottle of hot water to drink and over 8 miles to ride to the village, all of it climbing in 90+ degree weather, I realized how dangerous my situation could become. I've overheated on very few rides and only twice have I experienced nausea. There is nothing worse, take my word for it. And heat stroke can kill you very quickly, so I don't take this stuff too lightly.



On top of all of this, Herb was hurting too. He hates Baldy, if truth be known. Mt. Baldy to him is like Big Tujunga Canyon (Big T) for me. He's had more than a couple of bad rides out there, and those memories ride with him every time he attempts to make it to the lodge (which he's only gotten to twice). I've had very bad experiences out on Big T myself and dread that ride (although, like Herb, I will still go out there and go up it). Today, Herb's legs were not with him and he was struggling. He'd already asked me if I'd consider turning around by this point and silently suffered my temper ("NO!"). But as I stood on the side of the road with my head down over my handlebars, swallowing more bile and looking at my sweet friend patiently (and with concern) waiting for me up ahead, I knew I had to choose. We had crawled another mile and a half with me stopping every 100 feet or so. It would take us another hour and a half (or two!) to get up to the lodge at that pace, and it was only getting hotter, not cooler, on that mountain road.

I had the sense God gave a lemon, ignored my ego's nagging insistence and made a decision (the right one). "Herb?!"

"Yeah?" He had his hand on his hip, the way he does when he's fed up with something.

"I'm going back." (translated: "we're going back.")

I could swear I witnessed his entire body relax with relief as he stood in the ridiculous heat. "Yeah, me too."

As we turned around, two riders approached. I asked them if they knew how hot it was. The woman rider looked down at her thermometer. "It's 104 according to this, which means it's in the 90's, and hotter in the sun."

Oh, well, look at that. Here we were standing in the sun. That was all I needed to hear. I barreled back down the section we'd climbed and sludged up the few hills we had to ascend to get back, but by the time I began the long descent down off Big GMR, I was flying, free-fall style, cutting the curves with perfect ease. Herb would later compliment me on my descending today, surprised at exactly how fast I got down off GMR. Like I told him, I have the skills to descend very fast but normally choose not to. I know riders personally who have crashed on GMR (and other mountains) due to speed and not seeing one wayward rock or patch of gravel. I never want to end up sliding down GMR on my backside, if I can help it! But today, I'll admit that I threw caution to the wind, and descended at a very high speed. I wanted a cold coke and a sweet patch of shade to recover in, and all I had between me and that was one long, winding mountain road.


Back at the car, we both hung our heads. Not only were we hot but both doubted our own abilities. Silly, really. I know that had it not been hot today, Herb and I would have climbed that mountain at a very respectable speed (by my standards). I'm still fat, but the six pounds I've dropped are noticeably gone on the climbs, and I had the legs today to carry me up all 5,800 feet of Baldy. As it is, we still ended up with 50.4 miles and 4,400 feet of climbing. Enough, certainly, for most riders, but Herb and I are similar creatures in that we expect more of ourselves. I reassured Herb that he would have gotten to the lodge had I not been the big, fat noose around his neck, dragging him back down the mountain prematurely. Herb just shrugged his shoulders.

"You waited and rode back with me last week when I was hurting. I waited and rode back this week with you." He said this in a way that needed no reply. Yup. That's our agreement, though we've never shook on it, and I have to say, today I'm so glad he kept his end of the bargain. Nothing like having a good friend there to console you when you have to quit Baldy early.

July 2, 2009

porn star

I have noticed something at the gym (now that I go kinda regularly). There is a 'gym crew' that sorta hangs out there during the week. Yup. A full cast of characters that just do their thing (lift weights) all week long, all day long, or so it seems. Granted, I've not gotten my lazy arse out of bed and to the gym before 10:00 am since being unemployed, so perhaps these characters don't show up at the crack of dawn and stay until all hours of the night. But they most certainly are there between 10am and 5pm most days. I will spare you descriptions of each one as, really, they are all very pleasant to deal with, and I don't mind them there one bit. I saw each and every one of them today, as a matter of fact.

However, there is one character I just find so amusing, I have to share. She's someone a neighbor (who also frequents my gym) and I joke about all the time. We call her 'Porn Star.' She's the most...um...colorful of the bunch, and definitely the most under dressed. For one thing, she has the largest honking boobies I think I've ever seen on a petite Asian-mixed chick. They have to be triple Ds or Es or maybe even Fs (???). Seriously. She must have paid half the price of what a modest home (2 bedrooms, 1 & 1/2 baths) in California would cost for them, cause it most certainly took 60 pounds of saline/silicon alone to create them. They don't move, by the way, and I do mean 'they don't move.' She performs all sorts of weight lifting exercises that would cause the average breast to at least bend or slide slightly, even when encased in a sports bra. Oh, no, not Porn Star's breasts. They are 'rocks of Gilbraltar,' let me tell ya, and she is so proud of them, she displays them like basketballs bound in duct tape.

I can't take photos of folks at the gym as it's against the rules, which saddens me as I'd really love to photograph her and post it here. Not to make fun, but for you to see exactly what I must avoid staring at every single frickin' day I report to the gym. For sheerly informative purposes, I'll describe what she looks like, or better yet, how she's dressed.

Since I have no pic, this was as close to what she looks like -
only with her eyes open (with heavy makeup), standing and...um...at the gym


She's about 5' 3" or 5' 4" (I guess - shorter than me but not the size of a child) and a unique mix of color and features, all very pleasant; not classically beautiful, but certainly eye-catching with puffy red lips, heavy brown eyes and a flat, perfectly chiseled nose. She wears dark, smokey eye makeup (which is very in style at present), lots of jewelry and a little black and green colored workout outfit (a bikini top with boy shorts four sizes too small for her). She occasionally wears black and lavender, same style. The top is like a bra that, honestly, would barely cover my itty-bitty B sized breasts, but somehow (she must have help) those size triple D breasts get shoved all up in there, and I've yet to see one pop out (if I do, I swear I'm running for my camera even if the gym expels me for good). Her cleavage starts at her chin, but she doesn't seem to mind. Personally, I feel she should make better use of those hooters and try tucking the barbells she walks around with in between them. Lord knows, the barbells would be supported just fine, and then she'd have full use of both hands (which end in long, colored nails).

As for the belly rings...(s) plural...I can't imagine her doing sit-ups as I would think there would be some risk of those snagging on something. I'm betting the belly rings are 14K gold, so she's got some money invested there, but I just don't know how she works out with those sticking out like that. They match the hoop earrings she's wearing, so there is that, but still... Oh, and did I mention the way-too-small boy shorts? I feel I really should tell her that her butt cheeks, albeit flat, are sticking about two inches out from under those shorts, but I'm concerned I'll hurt her feelings. Besides, she is very considerate about putting a towel down between the bench seats and her ass; so no harm, no foul.

Oh, and she has the prettiest, bright-white smile. I've seen it when she flashes at the few men who dare to approach her, let alone look at her. Can't blame the poor men in the gym. I mean, really, whether she means to be or not, she is literally a walking, wet vagina, the way she's dressed. Maybe I'll mention that to her next time I'm there.

Or maybe not.

The rest of my day involved no breasts, vaginae or porn stars, just job-searching and (fingers crossed) a possible interview at the beginning of next week. In the meantime, I'm super-stoked for tomorrow (Baldy!!!!) and the weekend. Plans, every day and night...I'm going to be plume worn out by Monday. Just the way I like it.

July 1, 2009

he won't be coming after my bike

Today was a mix mash of all sorts of stuff, and between talking to a new recruiter (and being submitted for a position) and washing four loads of laundry, I was a busy girl. I had intended to ride to fetch crickets for Boo, but due to poor planning, that got scratched (she still has worms, so she won't starve anytime soon). I wasn't worried about it since I knew I had my night ride to look forward to this evening. Most of the men went off to do some insane hill-hazing kind of ride in the hills above Burbank, but Herb and I wanted a mellower kind of evening. After all, we've got Mt. Baldy to tackle on Friday. So, we decided to just do our normal Griffith Park Observatory ride.




I arrived at The Hub just before 6pm and was ready to roll a few minutes after (I only got away with being tardy since it was just Herbie and me). We took a relaxed pace to the park and headed straight for Trash Truck Hill. Just as we began that long, painful climb, a police car (er...truck) came flying down. The police officer behind the wheel used a PA system to inform us that we would not be allowed to use the road. I immediately turned around. Herb toyed with continuing but got scolded by me. Did he want to be arrested? Anyway, we headed in the direction we had come from on Zoo Drive and as we passed the officer, I asked him if we could climb the other side to the observatory.

"No, sorry. Road is closed all the way through and up to the observatory. We are searching for a man we believe stole a vehicle."

That was all I needed to hear. I convinced Herb to follow me (which I was surprised he did), and we pedaled fast around the park, past the zoo and toward Los Feliz. Herb again toyed with trying to climb (sneak) up past the golf course to Mt. Hollywood (the back side of Trash Truck).

"Um, no, Herb!" I reprimanded. "I don't want to get shot by some criminal looking to steal a bike for a get-a-way."

"Well, I was planning to push you in front of me if that happened," he joked back.

"He won't be coming after my bike. He'll want yours," I chided.

"Maybe he's really little and will want a girl's bike." Herb smiled at this as if he was picturing some small midget criminal. "He won't want my bike."

Oh, good grief. "We'll climb up into the neighborhood!" With that, we headed to Los Feliz, hopped on the sidewalk and began climbing the steep streets in Los Feliz. Herb asked me if I wanted to go the 'easy' way or the 'hard' way. He should never ask those kinds of questions on evenings where I clearly have attitude. "Hard way!" I hollered and took off.











We then both hit a wall of 12-14% grade and eeked it out in our grannies. It felt great (although, after yesterday's weight routine and plyometrics, my legs are noodles now). Herb fake-grumbled, but I could tell he dug it. It was quiet (mostly) up there and a nice change from our usual route. Once on the other side, we did take the 'easy' route back to Riverside (we basically did a loop) and down to Fletcher, where we hopped on the LA River bike path. It was so gorgeous out with the setting sun.





I then convinced Herb that we should take a new route back to The Hub. Again, he agreed (he must have been tired today or something and didn't want to deal with my antics). We took an easy pace back and arrived before sundown. There I drank a light beer (64 calories! I didn't even know they made them that light) while sitting Indian style on the driveway. I told Herb that the beer only cost me one point with WW. I then bossed him around about what he was to eat for dinner (I'm the food nazi now, remember?) and puffed my tummy out (it's already out so puffing it further wasn't difficult in the least). I poked it several times and told him that I'm a weeble-wobble. However, with that said, I've lost 6 pounds thus far. Once I hit 15 pounds down, I'll start to feel good, but for now, The Pudge is still sucker punching the hell out of me. Sigh.





Now, I'm exhausted and can't wait to crawl into my fantastic bed (I love my mattress). My bedroom is uber clean and everything is in its proper place. I have zen again. Now, I just have to keep it that way!

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