November 27, 2013

my mountain is waiting

2013, a year I'd like erased from my memory, is thankfully almost over.  I've abandoned MyDogParty for good.  It's going to be out with the old and in with the new...

January 1, 2014, I am beginning a new blog, a no frills kind of place where I can write and post pretty photos and that's pretty much it (okay, a video or two as well).  It will be a similar place and yet very much unlike this blog.  It will be centered around one goal of mine - to get back up Mt. Baldy on my bike.  That will be my only goal next year and it means much much more than a six hour ride in the saddle to me.  I'm over 40, and in lieu of enjoying this decade to my fullest, thus far, I've been stuck on the side of the road like some sad, middle-aged, lost hitchhiker thumbing for any ride I can get. 

That is going to change.

Through dedication to training by bike and foot (hiking will continue too!; and the gym!), I plan to regain what I've carelessly lost.  MyDogParty had the underlying theme of gratitude attached to it.  My Mountain is Waiting will expand on that to include the theme: don't ever take anything for granted.  Expect less whining, less personal rumination and far more optimism.  I will tell it honestly and include the good, the bad and the ugly, but I'm not going to be licking my wounds via written word anymore.  I've got too little time for too big a goal to waste a single minute on regret or self pity (and, finally, I'm going to give the weight loss quest a rest! - it will simply be a part of the journey and not something I obsess over like some dog trying to find a buried bone).

I have a lot of fitness to regain and miles to make mountain is waiting.

Should you wish to read all about it, please visit me here at

August 24, 2013

guest author on the subject of the paleo diet and athletes

I've not been on this cobweb-filled blog in so long, the crickets have taken over the joint.  But I'm still kicking and still trying to get my riding fitness back (it's like the never ending story!) 

Two things -
  1. I started taking spin classes again (old school, I love it!) 
  2. I'm going back on the Whole30 indefinitely - as in until I see some serious results.  I'm going to modify it by adding white potatoes and white rice the day before and day of a long ride.  And, when I eat out, I'm not going to worry about it.  I'll stick to gluten free, but I'm not going to isolate myself so much that I can't have dinner with a friend or two.

So, as you may know, the Whole30 is like the strictest paleo diet ever.  I'm not an advocate for the paleo diet, I follow more the primal blueprint.  But I have to admit that after following the (faux)Whole30 for 30 days, I felt amazing, my skin was moist and clear, my asthma was almost nonexistent and I lost 8 pounds in one month.  I also have completely kicked my Splenda addiction and don't touch the stuff at all now - so there is something to be said for the Whole30 Challenge and the paleo diet!

When I was approached recently to feature an article by a guest author on the subject of the paleo diet and athletes, I immediately said yes.  And that's what the remainder of this entry will be, a guest article - actually, more a personal account of how one marathon runner ate paleo and PR'ed at the LA Marathon!

First, a little about Dee.  He's the creator of this website:

And in his words:

"I struggled with health and weight issues most of my life, climaxing after getting a desk job after college when my weight ballooned. Fed up, I tried every possible diet and health product I could find. I found the Paleo diet and lifestyle to give me the best results. A lot of my friends and family were asking how I was able to lose weight, reverse my asthma, and regain health; so I created Paleo Diet ++ as a resource for them. It got kind of popular, so I decided to add more resources and articles hoping to help more people who have similar experiences as me."

I hope you enjoy his article below.  I certainly did and am going to pull from it as I, too, continue upping my training for more and more miles on the bike.

Training for the LA Marathon while on the Paleo Diet

Let me start off by saying, I’m not an expert when it comes to running marathons.  However, I have ran the last two LA Marathons.  I ran it pre-paleo in 2012 and again in 2013, but this time I ate a full-blown Paleo diet.  My times were 3 hours 55 minutes in 2012 and 3 hours 41 minutes in 2013.  I will say that I have ran many 5K and 10K races and have been pretty active in sports most of my life; including one of the most grueling of endurance sports, crew, while in college.
For the 2012 LA marathon, I trained for 6 months before the race.   At the time, I really didn’t understand how to train.  I practiced and trained for the marathon the same way I practiced and trained for crew, basketball, and most sports in which I played and participated - repetition and practice.  I ran 3 to 4 times per week from October to December, and 5 to 7 times per week from New Year’s leading up to the week of the race.  Resting wasn’t even in my vocabulary, and this wasn’t a good thing.
I also didn’t pay much attention to my diet.  I was still in the mindset of calories-in-calories-out, and that if I’m fat and slow, then I needed to work out more and eat less.  Which I would argue is the polar opposite of the paleo philosophy which focuses more on quantity as well as the quality of the calorie.
I trained very differently for the 2013 LA marathon.  By now, I was very knowledgeable of the paleo diet and I wanted to apply what I knew to endurance training.
From a macronutrient point of view, there wasn’t much difference.  I still ate carbs after I ran to recover, but instead of eating pasta, bread, or corn, I ate safe starches such as yams, potatoes, taro, and sweet potatoes (my absolute favorite!).  
A piece of sweet potato the size of my palm was the usual portion, along with some lean protein such as chicken breast or  90% lean ground beef; grass-fed when I could afford it.
The biggest factor to my drop in time and better health was the elimination of food that is not paleo, such as dairy, grains, and legumes.  Why?  I’m lactose intolerant, so eating most forms of dairy would send my gut to digestion hell.  I’m also allergic to gluten, the protein found in most grains and in foods such as bread and pasta (No more spaghetti for me).
After going grain and dairy free, my asthma was gone.   I no longer needed my inhaler or “preventative” asthma medication.  I remember the first time I ran 6.7 miles (one lap of the route I run) without needing to use my inhaler; I had the biggest grin on my face after the workout.
Here’s a list of what I ate for the 3 months leading up to the LA marathon:
Breakfast: Protein and fat!  Yup, “bacon and eggs” was the standard.  I would cook the eggs in either coconut oil or with the leftover fat from the bacon.  I would also drink coffee with coconut oil and cinnamon; no carbs (not even safe carbs).
Lunch: Salad with lean protein, such as chicken breast, 90% lean ground beef, or seafood.  To treat myself I might put in dried cranberries and nuts.  I would have my 2nd cup of coffee or some tea with my salad.
Dinner: 200 grams of protein (e.g. a steak the size of my palm and about ¾ inch thick), a salad similar to the one I had for lunch, and 100 grams of a safe carb.  If I worked out, then I would eat an extra 100 grams of safe starch, like an extra piece of sweet potato.
I drank about 6 to 8 glasses of water each day, more if I worked out or if I consumed more coffee and tea.
I used this template until 4 weeks before the race, and then I totally eliminated the sugar (dried cranberries) and carbs (any kind of nuts and the safe starches) until 3 days before the race. I carb loaded the last three days, eating about 1 to 2 pounds of safe starches a day.
This strategy might not work for everyone, but I did drop 19 minutes from my time, eliminated my chronic asthma, and lost 20 pounds.
So is it possible to train for endurance sports while on a paleo diet?  I certainly think so!

That's Dee (on the left) at the finish line with his brother - what an accomplishment!

July 13, 2013

article, 4 Tips for Staying Fit While Traveling

Every once in awhile, I'm approached by someone to publish something of theirs, which can be an article, blog entry or a summary of a product they're selling.  I don't advertise products or websites on my blog; too much trouble.  I do, however, consider guest articles, especially when they pertain to fitness.

Mike Manning, who writes on his own blog, Manning's Musings, sent me an email asking if I'd be interested in featuring his article, 4 Tips for Staying Fit While Traveling.  I'd planned to put it up last week while traveling, but that didn't pan out (I wasn't on the internet much at all).  Even so, this subject is still quite topical for anyone planning to vacation this summer. 

And, of course, I agree with every one of his suggestions, especially "rent a bike!"  



Following article by Mike Manning

4 Tips for Staying Fit While Traveling

Although it can seem a challenge at first to keep up with your daily fitness routine when traveling, it is both possible and vitally important sustain it.  In the same way that one still brushes their teeth everyday on the road, it is possible to sustain your daily workout virtually anywhere with a little careful planning.

1.  Choose Your Hotel with Facilities and Nearby Recreational Areas in Mind

Almost all of the big hotels in major cities feature a gym facility. Make sure to do some research before you book a hotel in order to get the best out of the accommodations. On a recent trip to San Francisco I was able to book a hotel that had great fitness amenities by checking through a travel reviews site called Gogobot beforehand. Here I was able to see a list of San Francisco hotels where I could see which ones in my price range had a 24-hour gym. Motels and motor lodges in smaller cities may not feature an in house gym, but you can use Google Maps and other GPS systems to easily locate trails and recreational areas near the lodging of your choice.  If you plan to stay for a while in one place, research the closest gym or recreational facility to your hotel.  These options offer you the chance to both workout and integrate into local culture for the duration of your stay.

2.  Attend an organized fitness retreat.

What better way to both maintain yourself and be inspired than to base your travels specifically on convening and connecting with other fitness-minded individuals and teachers.  Similar to a tour guide who assists you in maximizing your travel time, a fitness retreat expands what you know about your body and your health.

3.  Get outside and run or rent a bike.  

All you need is a good pair of shoes and comfortable clothing.  Instead of driving around, explore the city on foot, whether at a brisk walk, a jog or an invigorating run.  Due to the slower pace and the lack of enclosed capsulation that biking offers, it is possible to see much more from behind the handlebars of a bike than from behind the steering wheel of a car.

4.  Take a specialized fitness class in something you have never tried before.

Mark your trip with a specialized fitness class that is completely new to you.  Whether you have always wanted to try Zumba, pole dance fitness, P-90 X or spinning, your next trip holds possibilities to fit any budget.

No matter where you are, there are people eating and living healthily.  Join the fray by bringing your workout routine with you wherever you go.

July 7, 2013

I stayed the course the best I could

So...I'm back from Fried Chicken Land.  I flew in last night and swung by Sharky's for fish tacos.  They were fried and on corn tortillas.  I wanted them and given that I slid right back on down the hill of shit (corn, soy, dairy, gluten, wheat, sugar, alcohol) in the last six days, I figured why not.

That was last night.  This morning, I went right back to eating Whole30.  It's not so much that I'm going to redo the Whole30 (at this time), especially given my recent attempt is what I now call the FauxWhole30, but instead I'm going to just follow the guidelines on a regular basis.

No one forced me to eat the way I did while I was visiting the family, but in my defense, Fried Chicken Land is not exactly a healthful place and it has nothing to do with fried food.  The place is filled with chain restaurants and chain stores (Walmart, Publix, Krogers...) that offer pretty much nothing by way of whole-unprocessed foods.  So many of the products on the grocery shelves are full of corn/soy/sugar/artificial sweetner/gluten.  They do have fruits and vegetables, certainly, but none of them are locally sourced or organic (that I could find).  And I couldn't tell you where the meat comes from, so like I admitted to Dad, following the Whole30 there would be damn near impossible.

I just gave in and ate, not worrying too much about what was sliding down my gullet.  I drank too, but mostly just wine and not anywhere near what I used to drink.  I found that I had kinda lost the taste for it.  I have definitely lost my sweet tooth.  I had desserts, sure, but I didn't crave them or order them - I just took bites when others had something sweet around me.

Fortunately, it was just a six day visit, so now I can (hopefully) swing the mother ship back around and keep hold of the gains I made.  Since my Whole30 became all Faux-ish, I can't really go on and on about the program (when done proper).  But I can list the benefits of following it almost to the letter for 30 days.  Here goes:

- I lost 8 pounds and one dress size (as in, I fit into a pair of pants I couldn't zip up before)
- I slept better than I have in years (all the way through the night) and woke rested
- My skin looked clearer, smoother and glowed (all sparkly like)
- I lost the bloated look in my cheeks and in my gut
- My system was regular and my appetite (for the most part and when I got my meal ratios correct) was way decreased; I really don't need snacks much
- I stopped craving sugar/alcohol/splenda

- I found riding a bike for more than an hour exhausting (I think adding potatoes back into my diet before long rides should do the trick)
- eating out is impossible (really, it is - if you do take on the Whole30, plan to make all of your own meals; you'll save yourself much frustration!)
- It is expensive, no way around it

Did it change my life?  Yes, it did, even being all faux-ish. By the way, in case you're curious as to why I say that, it's because I didn't read the book first.  My biggest mistake was simply not eating full meals.  I'd often have a handful of nuts and a piece of fruit and call that so much.  I also ate out and I'm certain I got some gluten/corn/soy in me when I did.  I'm a stickler for rules somewhat and there is a point when you just have to admit you broke them and are out of the game.  That's what happened in my case.  But I didn't cheat.  That's another level of denial, one I'm not comfortable reaching, so I stayed the course as best I could.

As for my trip home, it was a good one (for the most part).  I just wish I could afford to go home for shorter more frequent visits.  The whole staying-for-eight-days thing is getting old.  I'm sure my parents would agree!

Speaking of, Dad and I did ride - not as much as I'd have liked, but we did get a few opportunities.  Photos are below...

 oddly, the weather in TN was way cooler than in LA - someone needed his jacket...

down by the Cumberland River; Dad's favorite ride...

the roads are still as smooth as butter...

                            they don't just got chickens in Fried Chicken Land...  

                         Dad did compliment me on my riding - it has improved...  

                 we did got one day of just glorious weather (no rain and it wasn't hot!)...

green, green, green...

I've told him not to ride with him fingers perched up on the handlebars 
like that but he doesn't listen...

I don't know why, but I love ponds...

and barns!...

the street I grew up on and rode my first bike on...

 yes, I was there..

June 26, 2013

FauxWhole30 Day 24 and Day 25

This week has been a whirlwind already.  I'm leaving town on Saturday to fly back to Fried Chicken Land (to visit all my little loved nuggets) and I've got a lot to get done!  

Yes, I'm still on the Whole30,, after reading It Starts with Food, I realized that I missed many nuances within the program (e.g. timing of meals, makeup of meals, etc.)  This isn't a program that you can modify for you own pleasing, by the way.  At least, that's how I look at it.  You have to follow the program exactly ain't following it so don't be pretending you are!

Also, you know the old saying, "RYFM!" (read your fucking manual!)?, well, in this case, RTFB!  Seriously, don't try the Whole30 unless you read the book first.  Because, now, I have to do it all over again.  Yup (sigh).  Only, I'm waiting until January 2014 (and creating a 30 day menu to follow to the letter).  I ate the right foods and eliminated the wrong ones this go around, but I didn't keep to all of the principles - next time I won't make the same mistakes!

However, I'm finishing this one out, but I am now going to start referring to it as the FauxWhole30 (snicker).

Monday, June 24th - 

Breakfast, 8:45am - 

black coffee
Gorilla Bowl (the name Monkey Salad was already taken)

Lunch, 12:45pm -

You can't see it, but there is a beef patty beneath the tomatoes and that's a bowl of steamed squash (dreadful!).  This is all from the dining halls and something I've found that is quick and over.  Not the most healthy, I realize, but I'm stuck with the veggies they have that are steamed (they had green beans, but smothered in the nasty oil "blend").

Dinner, no exact time - 

Here is where I didn't stick to the plan. I just snacked on 1/2 cup almonds, a glass of tomato juice (compliant) and a huge tablespoon of coconut butter (that I made awhile back).  I just didn't feel like cooking!

For J.T. - I got lazy toward the end of the day (cursing under breath).  IOU $1!

Tuesday, June 25th

Breakfast, 5:00am and 9:00am - 

coffee with coconut milk blended in before gym
Gorilla Bowl after gym

Lunch, 1:00pm - 

Yay!!! Steamed peas!  And a salad made with tuna, egg, olives, red peppers, carrots, lettuce and avocado.  This meal was delicious and perfect.   Of course, I had to bring in my own tuna and avocado...grumble, grumble.

Dinner, 7:30pm - 

Still didn't feel like cooking, so I went to my stand-by Chinese joint for a steamed plate of blah.

That's steamed chicken on a bed of broccoli, bok choy, carrots and baby corn.  I picked out the least, I think that's corn.   Does anybody know where those little creepy baby corns come from?  (I'm too lazy to Google it.)

This was NOT Whole30 compliant in that there wasn't an ounce of fat in that meal.  See?  I have to do all over again!

For J.T. - 

Five more days ...

June 23, 2013

Whole30 Day 23

By this time next Sunday, I will have completed the Whole30.  I am definitely looking forward to being done, but I'm certain I will continue to eat this way at least 90% of the time.  

Breakfast, 6:30am - 

Coffee with coconut milk

Sweet Potato "pasta" with ghee, sage, turmeric, cinnamon and cut-up organic apricots
Two eggs, sunny side up

If you've never tried sweet potato pasta before, buy yourself a Gefu Spirelli (or similar) and make some!  All you have to do is slice it into noodles and cook it in some ghee, butter or olive oil for a few minutes.  It is simply delicious and holds up well.  I haven't tried it with marinara sauce, but I bet it's amazing.

After breakfast, I met up with Linda, Debbie and a friend of theirs, Bill, to go join the CicLAvia crowd this weekend.   I've never had any desire to be part of it, but Debbie really did.  I decided to just try it.  Well, surprise, surprise - it was so much fun.!  We headed over to the start line around 9:30am and were finished by the time the crowd began to swell.  No douchebag riders, no squirelly riders - just cool folks with a very chill vibe, all of different races, ages, sexes, sizes.  I actually look forward to riding it next year!

Here are some of the photos I took (I actually snapped over 600!):

on the way there...

freaking loved this guy!...

 yes, I exist, still ride a bike and was there...

We rode the 6 mile route and then cut through the West side to a small French bakery and deli.  Fortunately for me, they had some organic, gluten free options.  While my friends had omelettes with baguettes, I had a fruit bowl and some sugar free, gluten free sliced turkey breast.  

This didn't entirely fuel my day of riding/walking, but it was enough to hold me over until I got home and had two servings of plantains (which I think I'm going to start carrying with me on rides, come to think of it).  

Dinner, 6:00pm - 

Grass-fed burger on romaine lettuce leaves with mustard, tomato and (gluten free) dill pickles
1/2 cup of peas
cabbage  salad
1/4 avocado
1/2 Cherry Pie Larabar 

I won't lie - I'm hungry tonight.  Even though the route today was short, we were active for nearly five hours.  I felt great today, but of course our pace was very relaxed (to say the least).  It was more about fun and sun, with friends...a perfect Sunday.

For J.T. -

Whole30 Day 21 and Day 22, Week 4 has begun!

I got home late on Friday and yesterday I was worn out, so I slacked off on the blogging.  I'm going to write about both days since I still have another post for today.  

Week 3 is officially over, thank God, and Week 4 has begun!  Week 3 was not enjoyable.  I think what happened is that Week 1, it was all new and I was so fatigued, I just didn't have the energy to be annoyed; then, Week 2, it was all like "energy, woot!" and dialing my meals in; then...Week 3.  Something got lost in the translation and I ended up hungry all damn week.  I just couldn't find that magic combo at meals and ended up doing more snacking in between, which isn't really condoned on this program (although, it is not cheating).

I was also moody, sulking around and wishing I hadn't started this stupid challenge.  Yes, I went from "this is awesome, I feel so great!" to "this is stupid" in a matter of one week.  I survived it, but I'm definitely looking forward to the challenge being over - mostly so that I can socialize.  I've passed up three "happy hour and/or dinner" invitations, simply because I didn't want to be around alcohol.  I also hate having to ask the waiter/restaurant manager for every single ingredient in every food, just to be able to order something, anything.  This never bodes well with others out to enjoy themselves at a restaurant.  I don't like being a Sally, if you know what I mean.

Anyway, it's over, Week 3, and I'm now in Week 4.  

Friday, June 21:

Breakfast, 5:30am and 9:30am - 

Coffee with coconut milk blended in before gym
Fruit salad - banana, strawberries, pineapple, unsweetened, organic coconut flakes and almond butter - after gym


This was insanely good and a real keeper.  I only used a tablespoon of almond butter and nuked it 30 seconds with the banana.  The rest of the fruit was cold and when mixed in, the textures were just delicious.  I really could eat this just about every day!

Lunch, 12:30pm - 

Left over Zankou chicken with guacamole (compliant - I asked), spinach lettuce, black olives, steamed (for real this time - I asked) broccoli and cauliflower.  I also had some more fresh pineapple for dessert.  (no photo as I was having lunch with a coworker and distracted)

Dinner, 5:30pm - 

Cup of Bubbies Sauerkraut 
More Zankou chicken
Cup of sugar snap peas
(no photo for this either since I was rushing to get out the door on time)

I then darted off to get my hair cut and didn't get home until close to 8:30pm.

For J.T. -


Saturday, June 22, Beginning of Week 4:

Technically, I had eight days left as of yesterday since four weeks only adds up to 28 days (7x4) - need two additional days to get to 30 total.  Regardless, I look at what's left as one week total, a long week, but one week.

Breakfast, 7:00am -

Coffee with coconut milk blended in

Sweet Potato and Zucchini hash made with ghee, cinnamon, turmeric, sage and black pepper, two eggs, a Tbsp of almond meal - browned and cooked in the pan, topped with prosciutto.

This should have been perfect fuel for a long mountain bike ride, but I bonked after an hour.  This is something that depresses me.  I really do feel better eating no grains or starches, but it's killing me on a bike.  

I gave up riding after an hour and a half and hightailed it home.  I refused to get pissy, so I grabbed Boo and headed off for a four mile hike.  She needed the sun and I needed to get past my earlier poor performance while out climbing on pedals.  Besides, it was truly gorgeous out yesterday, which was not lost on me.

Lunch, 2:00pm - 

Smoothie: 1/2 cup frozen mango, 1/2 cup frozen pineapple, 1/2 cold mini watermelon, 2 cups frozen, organic spinach, 1 grapefruit squeezed for juice and pulp.  

I know, smoothies are frowned upon during the Whole30 but I don't give a flying rat's ass.  It was blistering hot yesterday afternoon and something cold was all I craved.  This smoothie was so delicious, I plan to have it again (likely, in the next week).  It kept me full for over five hours!

Dinner, 7:30pm - 

roasted chicken thighs
butternut squash puree made with juice from the chicken
French green beans (meh)


The chicken looks really pink but it was fully cooked.  I didn't care for the beans and ended up not eating all of them, but the meal was plenty.  I'm definitely not eating as much as I used to...and without even trying!

For J.T. - 
(the stupid thing didn't record steps for the first half of my hike, not sure why.  I took it off and shook it; then it started working.  I should have an additional 4,000 steps on there!)

June 20, 2013

Whole30 Day 20

Today, I wanted to quit the challenge.  I really did.  I overslept (I guess to make up for the night before), got to work late, and was just pissy all day.  I was also starving...all fricking day.  It's as if I'm back to week 1, only without the fatigue (thank goodness!) and with less ability to dial it all in - why is this happening! 

Breakfast, 7:00am - 

Mocha - compliant
Eggs, kale and prosciuto 


 This was filling and perfect; wish lunch had been too.

Lunch, 12:30pm - 

Two 3 oz beef patties (just beef, no fillers, although not grass-fed, I'll admit) between lettuce leaves with tomato and mustard (I would have added avocado to that but I forgot to bring some in with me). Sorry, no photo as I was having lunch with someone and not focused on documenting. 

Along with the beef, I got a bowl of "steamed" cauliflower.  I ate one bite and I knew that it had been doused with oil (shitty, corn/soy/mystery oil - which is all in the nasty oil blend they use in the halls).  This pissed me off so badly.  If you are wondering if I'm going to start over - oh, hell, no!  I didn't cheat as I truly thought the cauliflower was steamed.  But this is what you face in any restaurant.  Never trust that what you're eating is exactly what they say it is.

After composing myself over the bite of rancid oil, I went up and filled a plate with watermelon and pineapple.  It's the only thing I trusted.  However, it ended up being too much fruit.  Within an hour, my stomach ached, and within two, I was hungry all over again.

I didn't want more fruit, nor did I want almonds, so I chewed on some leather-like dried, unsulphered apricots (yes, I realize that is fruit, but it's dried out...and doesn't taste like fruit; it tastes like apricot flavored leather boot straps!)  I quickly realized that this was a poor choice and, although compliant, not in keeping with the rules, so I switched to fresh sugar snap peas that I had forgotten I had brought to work.  They were so, so good.

However (grumble, grumble), by 5 pm, I was starving yet again, still pissy, not in the mood to workout and ready to go outside, snag a squirrel and eat it alive (not really, since the squirrels on campus eat out of the trash cans around the dining halls - they are most certainly not grass-fed!)  So, I headed over the hill, ditched the idea of working out (sloth day) and ordered dinner for takeout from Zankou.

Dinner, 7:00pm - 

Zankou chicken, cabbage salad (compliant - cabbage, lemon, chilli and olive oil), baba-ganoush (compliant), turnips.

This hit the spot - finally!  Now, I'm no longer hungry.  Tomorrow, I'm taking the leftover chicken and avocado.  There will not be a repeat of today.  I've got 10 more days of this and I'm determined to succeed.

For J.T. -  IOU a dollar (grumble, grumble)...


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