this kid has got to go!

So, it's been...um...over a month since I've written on here.  I don't have a real reason why except that the year Two Thousand One Three is a transitional one (I'm hoping it will be, anyway) and I've been distracted (for lack of a better word).

Before I go any further, I want to state something with utter sincerity.  If you are a female similar to my build and height (medium boned and 5' 5") and weigh near or over 200 pounds, I do not judge you.  You may be overweight, but I do not think of you as "fat" and would never call you fat.  I would encourage you to exercise if you don't, but I'd encourage a 100 pound woman to do the same (with the approval of her doctor, of course).  I don't judge anyone so harshly on his/her weight...except...myself.  I'm a cyclist (in case you haven't read my blog) and I used to be a pretty damn good athlete - amateur, yes, but committed nonetheless.  Weight is so relevant when it comes to riding a bike, certainly on the kind of rides I love but haven't done in so long.  So my judging my weight is specific to me and my lifestyle and not a judgement of others.  Please note that before you continue reading below.

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A little over two weeks ago, I arrived at my pulmonary specialist's office for my annual exam (which included my breathing test of late).  "Pulmonary Specialist" is a fancy way of saying "lung doctor."  The one I see sucks...most of the time.  This year?  He was stellar, but that's not what this entry is about, so I'll move on. 

His nurse, a sweet-faced gal who kept furrowing her brow in a kind of Betty Boop-ish way, greeted me and asked me to step up on the scale first thing. 

"Okay, but I don't want to know what I weigh. I mean, it's not like I'm in denial.  I see myself butt naked in the mirror every day, but I just lost 4 lbs.  Or, at least, I had lost 4 lbs, but then I've 'relaxed my diet' all over again and...well...who knows?"

She just smiled (patiently), brushed back her thick shiny brown bangs with one slender hand, and pointed to the (dreaded) "doctor's scale."  You know the one - a bulky, mammoth, metal torture tool.  

"Can I remove my shoes...and the rest of my clothes?" I flashed her a big cheesy grin.

"Sure," she replied with a wink. 

I ditched my shoes, stepped up on the scale and held my breath.  And, I closed my eyes.  I knew already how dreadful my weight has become.  After all, I'd been weighing myself every week for the past two months (plus seeing myself "butt-naked"- let's not forget that!), but I didn't need the aggravation that particular day. 

But as I heard her move the weights on the scale and scribble on my chart, I had a change of heart.  "Okay, I don't really want to know, but I think I'd better face it.  What's the damage?"

"You're funny," she said before pausing a moment.  "206 pounds, give or take.  Your clothes probably add a pound and if you've eaten today...maybe, another 1/2 pound? Or, you could be ovulating and therefore retaining water or...whah whah whah whah whah..."

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I don't remember much else about that visit.   I saw my doctor, I was prescribed more drugs (for my asthma), I paid for parking - but the one thing that wouldn't stop looping in my brain was...206 pounds.

I drove home, stripped down to nothing and looked (really looked) at my body in the mirror.  There before me was a fat woman.  She wasn't entirely unattractive but she was fat.   Her arms, beefy sausages, dangled at her sides pitifully.  Her face was bloated and her chin, doubled. Her (used to be) slender shoulders looked padded and swollen.  When turned sideways, a "shelf of fat" stood out from above a bulbous stomach, a bloated layer of skin between her breasts and her belly button (a coffee cup can be rested on it when sitting, so it does serve some purpose).  Her breasts were full and bigger than they've ever been, but distorted by the "shelf" so they didn't really stand out.  Her butt?  Oh, it stood out.  In fact, it was her most defining feature, attached to meaty thighs that had gone from "sort of muscular" to "undefined softness."  This couldn't possibly be me, but it was...is.

So, deep breath, now that I've (gulp - really??!) revealed my weight on here, what am I doing about it?  

First, I'm accepting responsibility. It isn't the fault of my genes, my office job, my metabolism, my age, my sex, my asthma, my "big" bones, or my lizard (Boo had absolutely nothing to do with this).   I could blame my mouth, I suppose, and my hands, teeth and tongue - damn them!  But since I over-operate them in unison (apparently), I guess the buck will stop here.  I've gotten to this weight all on my (not so) wittle bitty own.

Second, I've set my mind and am determined to lose it - 60 pounds of it.   I mean it this time too (so you can stop rolling your eyes now, please).  I mean it so much, I revealed my weight on a public blog.  How many women do you know who'd do that unless she's serious about reducing the number?  (yeah, thought so!)

Third, I've joined Weight Watchers (WW) again and have followed it perfectly since officially beginning this past Monday.  It seems that WW has improved their program in the last year.  They are more veggie/fruit/protein/healthy-fats driven than they used to be.  Now, they ding you zero (0) points for raw fruits and vegetables, instead of encouraging you to snack on their stupid, overly processed (and priced) sugary cakes and muffins.  This bodes well for me since I plan to do WW "Primal Style."  I love Mark Sisson's website and believe wholeheartedly in what he's espousing (The Primal Blueprint), but obviously, I need help with portion control and calorie counting.  WW worked for me in 2005 (when I lost 40 lbs on it) and for my sister (who lost over 100 on it and has kept it off!).  There is no reason it won't work for me this time as well...if I stick to it.  

So, this past Monday, I weighed myself first thing in the morning, butt naked on my scale at home (yes, I own one). I weighed 196 pounds.  That is the weight I'm starting with this go around and I will weigh in every Monday and record my weight.  I also took photos of myself in a tank top and shorts from the front and side.  I will continue to take these photos for every ten pounds I lose to document my weight loss.  I will then share them on here (yay!  Before-and-After photos!) once I've lost down to my goal weight of 136 pounds.  Why not?  It will be fun to see them once I'm lean again.  And, I will keep them to remind myself should the weight start creeping back on.

I sound pretty confident, don't I?  That's because I am.  I know I can lose the weight.  I'm giving myself the year to do it (although, of course, I'd like to reach my goal weight by July).  The real challenge for me (obviously) is keeping it off for good.  My sister did it, so once I've lost, I will be using her as inspiration to keep maintaining a healthy weight. No more thinking that I can eat what I want after a long bike ride.  No more thinking that I don't have to count every little morsel that goes in my mouth.  No more super-sized beer after a bike ride with the guys ("but it's just one!" - nope).  I'm gonna have a tough few weeks acclimating to WW all over again, but, honestly, I don't mind. I want my shape back and I want to ride a bike like I used to without carrying 60 lbs along the way.

Wow...that just hit me writing that.  60 pounds!  It's as if I'm carrying a third grader with me in my jersey's back pocket every time I ride my bike.  I have no issue with a little third grader, but this kid has got to go!   

Oh, and in case you came on here for the pretty photos and not all my other nonsense, I have been riding and hiking and taking pictures of it all.  Photos are below (in no particular order):

Rode with Herb and Linda 61 miles recently...

Some things never change...

We rode from Burbank to Encanto Park and back...

I felt a pang of sorrow when I turned this corner.  

I haven't ridden Mt. Baldy in over two years...

And there my old friend is, snow-covered in the distance...

I was the slow one all day, my climbing is non-existent anymore...

This was serious business...

I also rode with the girls to the beach one Sunday...

One of the main reasons I live here (this in January!!)...

When you have this kind of weather, you can't help but smile...

and then...there is the scenery...

riding past the airport...

I wish they'd all wear helmets, but a nice sight to see...

In fact, many folks took the same advantage of the day as we did...

he posed for me...

love this photo, as I think I caught a "moment"...

It was just an outstanding day and ride...

I took Boo hiking in January too...

And she was a celebrity among the boys...

Griffith Park Ride with Bob...

It was a tad chillier that day...

I demanded he smile...

At least it was the deluxe model...

So serious...

They are still doing road work at the park, by the way...

To the bike path over the 5 freeway...

Trash Truck Hill - still there and still just as painful...

He ran past me as I was climbing, and dropped me...like a badly microwaved potato...

This was last Saturday - a ride out in Swankville...

Valley Circle...

his usual...

into Encino...

to the bike path...

 and back in the (swank) hood...

And I end this entry with one last photo, 

one I captured while riding that made me chuckle:

Effectively Fighting the Fatigue Caused by Cancer Treatments

For the first time ever since beginning this blog in 2008, I'm featuring a guest author from another blog.  Her name is Melanie Bowen and she writes for the Mesothelioma Cancer Alliance Blog.  She sent me a very sweet email and asked if I'd be willing to post her article.  You bet I am, Melanie!  Cancer has touched my life twice, once was devastating that resulted in a tremendous loss and the other was frightening but thankfully minor.  I wholeheartedly endorse anyone who promotes healing and support for those fighting this dreadful disease.  

Before you read the article, here is a little info about Melanie:
 

Melanie Bowen joined the Mesothelioma Cancer Alliance in 2011 as an awareness advocate for natural health and cancer cure initiatives. You will often find her highlighting the great benefits of alternative nutritional, emotional, and physical treatments on those diagnosed with cancer or other serious illness. Melanie also assists in social media outreach in her efforts to spread awareness. In her spare time, you can find Melanie trying new vegan recipes, on her yoga mat, or spending time with her family.

Read more: http://www.mesothelioma.com/blog/authors/melanie/bio.htm#ixzz2KixJovpT

Please pass the below article on to anyone you know who may be recovering from cancer and for whom this information would be useful.

Effectively Fighting the Fatigue Caused by Cancer Treatments

There are many types of treatments available for people who have received a cancer diagnosis. Some cancers are minor while others can include a very long and difficult road full of medications and various cancer treatments that can take their toll on a person. While many cancer treatments can be beneficial in either helping to extend the quality of life or in some cases to eliminate the cancer, there many side effects that come from aggressive anticancer treatments.

Perhaps one of the biggest issues that many patients face, especially with chemotherapy and other aggressive treatments, is fatigue. Fatigue can last for months and in some cases even years, after the cancer treatments have been completed. There is, however, a way to help cancer patients deal with and overcome excessive amounts of fatigue.

In a recent review by Cancer Research UK, data suggests that cancer patients participating in exercise activities were able to reduce the amount of fatigue that they experienced after cancer treatments. However, not all exercise activities were found to be beneficial to those people experiencing fatigue.

Patients who had been treated for solid tumors received the best anti-fatigue results from cardiovascular workouts than any other type of workout. While strength training may have been beneficial to their self-image, strength training offered little resistance against fatigue that is common after certain cancer treatments.

Much of the activity that is recommended includes cardiovascular exercises such as cycling, walking, jogging and in some cases even running. Researchers were also very quick to point out that physical activity, such as cycling, needs to be done in combination with other activities in order for patients to receive the maximum benefit in fighting off fatigue during and after cancer treatments.

Another issue that researchers point out is that while it is recommended that people speak with a doctor before starting any exercise program, in these cases it is vital that they speak with their physician before beginning any sort of exercise routine. The physician will be better suited to determine what is acceptable and what is safe giving a patient’s condition and treatment schedule.

Fatigue after cancer treatments is typically the number one complaint. While the cancer treatments are necessary to either keep the cancer at bay or to help eliminate the cancer, the side effects of these treatments can be devastating. However, something as simple as cycling can be a perfect way to get the exercise that the body requires and help fight against fatigue that is so common in the aftermath of aggressive cancer treatments for mesothelioma, prostate cancer, breast cancer and more. 

- Melanie Bowen

If you would like to follow Melanie on Twitter, you may find her there at @MelanieLBowen.

whole new attitude

It's wintertime.  I say this in awe cause we don't get that time (season) out here all that often.  Our winters usually mean one of two things - colder yet mild temps with lots of rain, or heat wave (think 100 degree + temps) with Santa Ana type conditions (dry wind).  I remember back in 1998, going to Disneyland with a friend on Christmas Day in 95+ degrees (miserable).  Then, three years ago, it rained for a month straight (beyond miserable).  We just never know what we're gonna get.

Well, this year, we got ourselves a bona fide cold winter here in So Cal.  Chicago is warmer than we are, and it's quite possible that we've had more snow this year than the Windy City (!!!!!)  Crazy, huh?  Call it Global Warming (something I do believe in) or simply call it "unusual weather."  That's what I keep hearing out the mouths of the weather forecasters.  "Across the south land, we are experiencing unusual weather...."  No shit.

I like it cold.  Last weekend, all jazzed about the new year and kicking it into "fit" mode, I headed out on my mountain bike to ride 50 miles of hybrid road/dirt.  I ended up with 36 miles for two reasons: 1) It was a ride I used to do in better shape that is all front loaded climbing (i.e. hard as hell); and, 2) I got waylaid by a donkey and two horses.

Proof...

 donkey...

donkey butt...

very friendly...

and here was the other one, grazing away...

They were all friendly, but, apparently, loose ("at large") horses (and a donkey) is illegal.  I know this cause some (very sweet) lady out hiking insisted I dial 911.  I insisted that dialing 911 for loose animals was the wrong thing to do.  Turns out, I'm wrong and dialing 911 for loose animals is the right thing to do (they re-route you to animal control).  So, do yourself and the rest of us a favor and dial 911 should you ever see a loose chimpanzee or elephant.

secret dirt path out of the valley...

this always gets me right in the bum...

Long story short, I stuck around waiting for animal control (and to pet the donkey) and lost 45 minutes of my ride time - all this after getting a late start.  I don't really care since 36 miles was plenty and I wanted to steal that donkey.  I have nowhere to keep him, of course, but how awesome would it be to say, "my pet donkey..."?

in case you think I'm riding in an isolated area - nope!...

 I blew past the Nike Missile Site since I'd gotten a late start...

 It looks warm, doesn't it? - but it was not...

in fact, if you look closely, you will see that this puddle is frozen...

and very long too (recent rain)...

lots of runners/hikers/bikers out...

this chick blew me away - she ran past me on a hill and dropped me easily!...

see that single track in the distance?  I'm going to get Herb to ride it (snicker)...

love this section heading to Topanga...

As for last Sunday, I hiked.  I've decided that hiking is as good as biking for fitness, actually may be better.  I'm not ditching the wheels anytime soon, but I love hitting the trails for cross training.  And since I have such a fantastic area to hike so near me, I might as well take advantage.  Last Sunday was a perfect day for it, too.  There were crazy skies above us filled with both light and dark clouds.  The air was super crisp (has been for the last two weeks) and temps were perfect for hiking (cold).

I've only ever ridden Fryman once as it's just not that enjoyable to ride...

 in case you think I'm hiking in an isolated area - nope!...

The next set of photos are all sky - the clouds were amazing over the valley...

 



 













  



Now, this week?  Rinse and repeat... kinda.  I had planned to ride to the Rose Bowl yesterday, climbing Patrician Way, Inverness and St. Kat's on the way out, but those plans were never realized.  I had bad bike juju this whole weekend for some damn reason.  

It started all of 15 minutes before I was to take off from my driveway to meet Herb (who so sweetly offered to be my ride companion yesterday even though he is trying to get major miles in of late).  I was well on time and excited.  That disappeared within seconds of spying the back tire of my bike in the morning.  It was completely flat which is unusual.  I removed the tube, checked it thoroughly (or so I thought) and got it fixed and back on the bike in under eight minutes (honest).

 sadly, I saw so little of Herb...

*BRAG ALERT*  I'm uber skilled at changing flat tires both front and back.  I forced myself years ago when planning on riding double centuries to change a tube over and over again until I mastered it. I never wanted to be caught out on an epic ride stranded due to lack of skills.  On my very first double century (LA Wheelman), I had to change three flats!  So, all that work paid off.  In fact, I have changed a tire in freezing rain in under five minutes (Herb and the girls are my witnesses). *END BRAG*

However...I'm not worth shit when it comes to new tire pumps.  I just got a new one and, like a dummy, forgot that I have to go easy on the lever until I know for a fact it's been released.  I ended up breaking the steam on the tube when ripping the lever off (apparently, I'd not opened it enough).  If you know me, you know I have an Irish temper, one that rarely makes any sense. I'm like a dog that for no reason will just go all berserk on your ass and bark, snarl and drool (but, with that said, I am "all bark" and no bite).  I also break inanimate objects when they don't work right (or I forget how to use them).  I've destroyed many hair dryers, kitchen appliances and cell phones in a fit of rage.  Yesterday, I considered taking a hammer to my back wheel but am happy to report, I did not.  Instead, I changed the stupid tube again and managed to pump air and remove the lever without breaking yet another steam (or the tire pump likely would have been destroyed).

love this section of Flower Street...

one and only climb for me...

I also managed not to take it out on Herb when I finally got on my bike and took off toward the Rose Bowl with him.  I was all business, apologetic (but not annoyingly so) and ready to ride.  Herb, who also has a temper (he and I are both Pisces if that means anything at all), was forgiving.  We rode off into cold temps but the bluest skies one could hope for on any ride.

Too bad that my tire went flat again within all of four miles.  This time, Herb, who loves fixing bike issues, closely examined the tire. Guess what?  My back tire, a Gatorskin, is toast.  That makes sense.  I haven't changed it for over two years!  He found two small pieces of glass that I'd missed when changing the tube(s) in my apartment (they sparkled in the sun).  So, I changed the tube once more and off we rode.  

Can you guess?  Yup, within another five miles, my back tire once more went flat.  As I hollered out at Herb to pull over, I could feel that familiar white hot rage building up in my chest.  I made the split decision to fix the flat and head back home.  Herb's ride had already been compromised and I wasn't about to completely ruin it.  Plus, I knew the farther I rode, the farther back it would be.  Herb argued with me for all of 30 seconds before realizing I was serious.  He went on to ride 43 miles and some god-awful amount of climbing.  I limped it home. Actually, that's not entirely true - I hammered like hell.  I figured that if I wasn't going to get the full ride, I'd at least get a good workout!

even Herb was perplexed by my tire issues...

Now, as for today?  More crappy juju - only this time with my mountain bike.  I just took Nellie in for maintenance too! (the bike shop is going to get an ear full).  I think I may need a new cassette or new chain, whatever.  The chain would just go slack even when on the cassette correctly.  It was weird and would happen as I was climbing.  

I had plans to repeat the ride from the weekend before with (hopefully) getting the full 50, but as I hit the canyon up to Mulholland, that was when the chain went wacky.  I didn't want to be on dirt Mulholland with a possible chain failure, so I high-tailed it home.

Normally, this would have sent me into temper tantrum mode.  But this is the year "Two Thousand One Three" and I don't have time for any drama. I am determined to get my fitness back.  So, what did I do?  I put my bike away, threw on my hiking shoes and headed out my door on foot.  I then hiked 5.5 miles, heading up Coldwater Canyon (not exactly the safest road to walk on) to the Tree People camp and into Fryman Canyon.  I hoofed it and ended up exhausted by the time I got home, but I got 'er done!  

Coldwater Canyon is one hell of a hike up...

a little too close for comfort; gonna have to rethink my hiking route...

 

 love this section near the Tree People...

  

much different skies than the week before...

took a trail less traveled...

So, even with the bike failures, I still got amazing workouts.  That's going to be my goal all year long. If I can't ride, I hike. If I can't hike, I walk.  If I can't walk, I swim...wait, scratch that cause I hate swimming.  But I'll find something.  I simply will not be deterred from regaining full fitness and improving!  And there is only one way to do it...just do it. 

See?  Whole new attitude in here.  The sniveling act was stinking up this place and doing me no favors.  Out with the old, in with the new...get 'er done...onward, forward...or whatever other adage you want to throw out.  I'm on it.