Boo has given me an ultimatum

I did nothing yesterday. Nothing. I sat on my ass all day long, refused an invitation to go out for a drink, and ate chili mac for dinner (don't get excited, it was low fat/carb mac). I felt as if I was drugged and quite possibly hog tied. My limbs were heavy and I had no desire to do anything. And today...I feel the same. I did sleep last night, better than the night before, but I woke up at 4:00am and couldn't fall asleep again. I then futzed around on this blog and changed the format (why? I don't know, just cause) and then I job searched (stick gawddim needles in my temple already!). Finally, I got up.

I had brunch/lunch plans with two friends. We had planned to hike as well, but the weather is too windy/cold/damp for a hike to be truly enjoyable, so we just ate instead at one of my favorite restaurants, Jinky's. We all ate too much...I had a huge plate of food and four cups of coffee. You could roll me sideways on the floor right now and my chin would never touch carpet due to the enormity of my puffed up belly. I'm like Budda with hair and without the zen mojo. I'm a puffy, overfed pile of poo (for lack of a better descriptive word).

I'm also, so it seems, driving my lizard to 'not drinking.' She hasn't pooped in three days and I'm frantic. I've been giving her warm baths and trying (in vain) to get her to drink water. Basically, you have to drip water over their snouts and normally, they will drink. Not my beardie, oh no. She's a stubborn little sh*t and refused to drink, refused. Instead, she just stared at me in a way that would make one think I was burning the bottom of her belly with lit matches. She can be such a PITA sometimes. She did behave in her bath, though, so I decided not to pitch her out on the balcony in front of my neighbor's cat.

I'm joking, of course, as I would never harm my little lizard. In fact, I may take her to a Vet tomorrow if she doesn't do her business. The most heinous ailment that can befall a bearded dragon is impaction - where they get an intestinal blockage from consuming sand. She was raised on sand, so this shouldn't be an issue. Plus, I put her on expensive sand that is supposed to be digestible, but she could still suffer from impaction as it is very common. It can also kill her quite quickly. I told my mother that if my little dragon dies, I'll be inconsolable. I've looked up every symptom of beardie impaction, and she has none except for the 'not pooping' thing. Still, I'm keeping an eye on her. I also pulled her out of her terrarium and let her walk around (even with the risk of having to clean up lizard poop).

Well, guess what she did? She busted me.



She went straight for that wrapper and just sat there determined to send me a clear message. No, I've not been sitting around eating Peppermint Patties by the handful, but I think that my sluggish demeanor of late has her worried. Judging from that photo, Boo has given me an ultimatum - no more junk, not even as an occasional treat or else! Isn't that cute? I'm looking out for her, hoping she'll poop*, and she's looking out for me, wishing I'd eat right and be healthy. Now, that's what true friends and roommates do! She loves her FatHead after all...well, that or she knows that I'm the keeper of crickets and doesn't want anything to happen to me. Either way, I got the message and promised her that I'm going to get up and either go for a ride or a walk or to the gym...something. I also promised her that I'm going to be 100% strict on my diet all next week.

I then promptly ate the last two Peppermint Patties in that King Sized package and threw the wrapper away. Couldn't have that lying around.

*Boo just pooped. Phew! She's now been rewarded with another 'walk about' after I washed her little feet.