b*tch slap 'em with a jar of vinegar

Maybe I angered the universe recently? Maybe I stepped down on a set of cosmic toes and didn't apologize? Whatever....I'm paying for it now. Yesterday was miserable and today was just...well...f'n annoying in every way. I'll share only one:

My pharmacy should be bombed. Before any Feds who google "bomb..." come arrest me, rest assured that I don't know how to build a bomb nor would I understand instructions on how to. I'm speaking figuratively. No bombing will take place. But if my pharmacy was the target of terrorists, I'd not be all that upset over it. Do I sound cruel? Yeah, well, you try being unemployed, on COBRA, having shelled out over $400 (check was cashed 8 days ago!) and still not be able to get your meds for asthma (try having asthma in the first place...you'll 'get it').

My stupid pharmacist is a lazy b*tch. She really is, and I theoretically called her one in front of ten people today, although I never used the word b*tch - please, I do have some class!

I telephoned this pharmacist named Claudia (that's her real name but I won't name the Pharmacy) this morning to check on my prescription refill (one I need desperately, and, no, I really am not exaggerating). Claudia was clearly uninterested in my pleading with her to 'double check' that I'd not been denied coverage after she swore I had been. Claudia, the lazy b*tch, simply said, "sorry, it's denied."

I then spent over 1/2 an hour calling COBRA and my insurance company, both of which responded, "tell her to stop, take time, and call us. You are not denied."

I called Claudia back to relay this info, and she put me on hold to call my insurance company...and never came back on the line. I sat on hold close to 20 minutes - add that to ten and you have another 1/2 hour which equals an hour. My blood was boiling by the time another pharmacist (or an assistant?) picked up the line. "Can I help you?" she asked.

"I'm holding for Claudia."

"Oh. Claudia is helping another customer. Can I have her call you back.?"

My lip curled. "Yes please." I then gave my number, and for the next 1/2 hour dressed in my bike clothes (Fred style). I then rode another 15 minutes to the Pharmacy. You do the math.

I walked up to the counter where Claudia stood. "You Claudia?" I knew she was cause it was written on her lapel.

"Yes, can I help you." She had this tone in her voice and sh*tty look on her face as if I was already annoying her.

I slapped my benefits approval letter down in front of her and calmly spoke, "Well, yes, Claudia." Here I smiled. It wasn't friendly. "I see you are no longer 'on hold' with my insurance company. Did you plan on calling me back? Or were you planning to use telepathy to tell me my prescription is ready?"

Claudia suddenly looked awake and slightly flustered. I was, after all, flushed from riding and staring her in the eyes with a look that could melt steel. "I was holding but you hung up. I have the info..."

"I hung up!?" I interrupted. "Excuse me?" My voice was now raised but I was in complete control. "You left me on hold, Claudia, for close to 20 minutes. Your 'assistant' (?) came on the line and asked if I'd been helped as if I were a new caller and not one being helped by you. That was not me 'hanging up.' Regardless, proper customer service would have been you calling me back in lieu of me having to ride here to confront you just to get asthma medication that I need to breathe....medication I have a legal right to." I'm fairly certain the customer in line behind me took a step back from me.

"I have the info now and need to input it," Claudia said, clearly affected.

"Good. I'll wait right here until you do. So sorry that there appears to be quite a long line behind me."

How did this end? I got my medication filled today without further ado.

Normally, I'm a firm believer in the old adage that suggests using honey to attract flies, but every once in awhile, you have to bitch slap 'em with a jar of vinegar to get any kind of result.

Other than that, nothing has gone right today...well, except that Boo is almost back to normal.