just walk the damn thing

Every once in awhile I'll throw a temper tantrum. It isn't all that different from the kind a child would throw only I don't cry hysterically or hold my breath until my face turns red and/or I pass out (use to do that when I was like three years old). No, my tantrums are when I stomp (ride) off and mope or refuse to do what is expected of me. I also tongue-lash anyone who even suggests that I'm acting like an insolent child and, perhaps, I should rethink my behavior. Really, folks should just ignore me when I act like this just like I ignore others who behave in such a way. In fact, I recall a few years back on a charity ride, one of my teammates threw her bike ten feet away from her in front of all the riders at a rest stop and screamed, "I f*cking hate this. I'm not doing it anymore!" I rode away from her that day chuckling to myself, 'what a lame ass.' Well...takes one to know one.

I'm sure you can guess what I'm leading up to...last night and the mountain biking excursion that Eddie, Herb and I went on. I should start by describing Eddie. He's the nicest, most kicked-back kind of guy, a former major mountain biker who bought a road bike a couple of years ago and now rides more road than dirt. But he's still an uber-skilled cyclist (and good climber) even if he downplays his abilities. He's been suggesting the ride we did last night to Herb for awhile, and the way he's been describing it was truthful. He said, "it's tough, I won't lie. There are four really steep climbs, ruts in the trail and some loose gravel." Me, being me, heard, 'you can do it.' Of course, I hear that whenever most folks describe any ride, except for single-track trails. When someone says, "it's a single track," I hear 'you'll die trying' and steer clear. Everything else is fair game.

Eddie, our very sweet, bad ass-on-a-mountain-bike tour guide

Therefore, the two men and I congregated at The Hub, loaded up Herb's truck and drove up to the trail I've been so excited to try, Stough Canyon. It's nestled up in the Burbank/Glendale hills and the trail connects to a fire road off of La Tuna Canyon that I've been begging Herb to go explore. I love Reseda and Dirt Mulholland, don't get me wrong. There is still plenty of trails to discover in there as well. But a new area with unexplored (by me), more challenging fire roads are certainly appealing. Last night, however, I realized straight away that I may have bitten off more than I can chew.

me before the temper tantrum with Herb in the background

For one thing, the trail starts out on a very steep uphill that is physically challenging for even the most fit. On top of that, it has loose gravel, ruts and sand, three elements that spook me on both the ascents and descents. I haven't figured out yet how to power through in my tiniest gear while keeping my front wheel down. Either my front wheel comes up or my back one spins out, and I end up unclipped from my pedals, standing over my bike pissed off - exactly what happened within two minutes of my trying to keep up with Eddie. He, of course, powered right up and was out of view within seconds of my sitting, stalled out on the trail. I'm glad to report that he, our gracious tour guide, missed my melt down. Herb was initially as lucky too, for he had passed me, stuck in the sand, and wasn't far behind Eddie. He tried to slow and wait, but I hollered for him to go ahead. That hill was too steep for any rider to have to worry about anyone but him/erself.

the hill we climbed to get to the trail head and the hill I rode down & back up

From there, it was 'try to clip in and take off,' 'stall,' 'try again,' 'stall,' 'try once more,' 'stream of profanities.' I just couldn't get the momentum on that grade with that gravel and sand to get clipped in. I turned the bike around and (gulp) faced the steep downhill. I froze like a donkey. No way could I descend that (I thought anyway), so I walked my bike back down the 50 feet I'd ridden and proceeded to ride down the paved street we'd parked on. I descended it all the way to the very bottom, turned around and powered up it in my second ring madder than hell. I convinced myself that I couldn't ride that dirt trail - too steep and not hard-packed enough. As I pounded my pedals up the paved road, my phone rang. I knew who it was.

"Go ahead and don't worry about me," I said into the receiver in short breaths.

Pause. "You coming up?" Herb tries, he really does.

"No! I said go ahead before and I meant it. I'm just going to do hill repeats on the paved streets. It's too gravelly up there and I'm scared to descend which means I'll just walk it." I said all of this with that impetuous tone one uses while throwing a temper tantrum.

"It's not bad up here," Herb continued (still trying). "I think you can do it if you get past the first part."

"I said NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I'll see you when you're done." I can't remember what Herb's reply was exactly, but I'm sure it was delivered with a defeated sigh. I also imagine he had some choice words for me under his breath once he hung up.

Herb, leaving me stuck-in-a-rut

I then took off again, finishing the climb to the top where the dirt trail head was still sitting, staring at me with pity. Yes, a dirt trail was pitying me cause I was too lame ass to just try going up it again. I stopped, unclipped and stared back. Now, I felt stupid. Eddie had brought us out there to show us a new trail, and I had even said to him, "I'll walk it if I have to." Yet, here I was huffing and puffing up the paved road. Might as well have stuck to my own neighborhood canyons if I was going to do that. 'HTFU, M.E. Just walk the damn thing,' I thought to myself. So, I clipped in again, got about 50 feet up it, hit the sandy, gravelly rutted part and unclipped once more. From there to the top of the first very steep climb, I just walked my bike.

sweet hiker up ahead - he encouraged me to keep going!

Here's the funny part (to me anyway), I got one hell of a workout last night not only from the parts I rode but from the sections I walked. My calves were burning something terrible as I pushed my 30 pound mountain bike up that hill. My heart rate was higher than if I'd ridden it in my granny gear. I know this cause once I found a plateau, I reclipped into my pedals and did ride the next very steep section. It was beautiful up there, too. In fact, my photos don't come close to depicting how gorgeous it was out there. The trail is mostly hard-packed once you get past the first part except for one section that Herb said he had to walk as well (it is really rutted and full of rocks). Last night the sky was hazy (the smog left over from the day's traffic), but I bet on a clear day, those views from those hills are spectacular.

the trail and parking lot down below

I did not walk this...I rode it (yes, it hurt)

I encountered several hikers along the way including one fella who is likely a senior but looked much younger than his years. He was so encouraging to me. I told him that my friends were ahead as I had initially given up on even trying the trail. He laughed at this. "If you don't try, you don't succeed. Keep doing it and in no time, you won't be walking it at all." I thanked him for his encouragement and kept going. I'm not sure how far I got, but my quads were screaming at me and I had to unclip at the really rutted section. It was here that I met Herb coming back down. I patted him on the shoulder and apologized for being a lame ass. He just said, "I told you you could do it." He's such a good friend. I'm lucky he can tolerate me and my excessive mood swings.

Herb at the top of the long, rutted section

This section is worse than it looks!

Eddie was long gone and had made it up to the towers (a future goal for me). He had told Herb earlier in the ride to take off without him and he'd just ride home. So, Herb and I descended together back to the truck. I warned Herb that I'd likely have to walk several of the steep sections as I'm terrified of descending steep hills (on dirt). But somehow I managed to stay on the bike the entire way descending even down the first uber-steep hill that scared me so badly in the beginning. I did unclip just in case I needed to put my foot down in a hurry, but nope - I got down it just fine! Yippee!!! I was high as kite then and felt great. I'm so grateful to Eddie for showing me this trail and for him and Herb to ride up it with me. I can't wait to attempt it again.

descending - on my bike!!!

So, what's the lesson? I don't know - shut up and ride? HTFU? Whatever. I eventually got up that dirt trail and am so glad I did. Otherwise, I'd have no photos today to share. I think sometimes that's the most motivating factor of all. I'm obsessed with taking pics. It's a way for me to capture a moment so that I may savor it long after it has passed.