I'd prefer everyone in the gym look average

I talked to one of my recruiters today for over an hour. She called me to check in and to tell me that she hasn't forgotten about me. She said, 'It's still dismally slow, even for those companies not using recruiters, the prospects of new jobs are limited." I'm not sure how that made me feel except numb. I'm five months in now (not four, I miscalculated - blame the past drug use or that head-banging crash I had in January '08) and I'm not liking the thought of approaching six months. After that, it's another six, unless I get a job. Here's the thing...now, I want a job. I really do. Of course, I want one that I like, which challenges me but one that still offers a balanced life (i.e. where I'm not there from sunrise to sunset). I don't want a sh*t job where I'm miserable like the one I was laid off from. Sorry, but it had to be said. The first three years there were fantastic, but the last 2.5 were not. I don't want a rinse and repeat.

Basically, I was told what I already know, and like Dad said in an earlier phone conversation today, "You're just going to have to hang in there until things turn around." Yup. Seems to be what I'm doing these days. Well, that and writing for a website that I now am enjoying. Main reason is the new channel manager I'm dealing with. What an incredibly smart young man he is and very much encouraging. I see him as a CEO of a major Internet brand in the future as he has the whole 'get your team motivated' thing down. I have another article to write in the morning and will be getting up at the crack of dawn to watch the Tour de France (but of course) and write, write, write. I'm not doing this for money (pay is so pitiful) but for experience and skills. I've already learned a great deal, and that alone has made the experience so undeniably worthwhile!

As for right this very minute, as I type this, I'm sorry I'm uninspired but I'm just so damn tired. Mainly, my body is worn out. Even with a rest day yesterday, riding three days in a row, including a century ride, was a bit much. I tried performing my legs workout today with plyometrics, jump rope and weights, but I just couldn't complete it. I was weary almost and mad (not grumpy, outright mad!) for just being there. I hated the way I looked too (well, duh...dressing in a big sloppy t-shirt with a blue bandanna is not an attractive look for anyone) and annoyed with people taking up the machines, including two impossibly good looking fit types. On days like today, I'd prefer everyone in the gym look average, please.

Speaking of not average, porn star was there today, of course, only this time with her twin sister. Yup, there are two of them now and I saw them talking (so, sisters? - or hot lesbian lovers?), only the second one is shorter and even more busty, as in busting out of her gym attire. And as if this is possible, she wears an even smaller, tighter bikini top than porn star number one. I have no idea if she's prettier in the face as my eyes just couldn't get past peeking at her near exposed nipples. Good grief! I was not in the mood today to view it, so I cut my workout short and headed home.

Anyway, I know I'm all over the place with this erratic entry tonight, but I have to share. I logged onto a bike forum today and found the below videos. I laughed so hard, I snorted water out my nostrils. So, as I head to bed...enjoy!